We absorb other people’s problems, feelings, and energy

Detaching and Other Ways for Codependents to Reduce Anxiety and Stress

Codependents are like sponges. We absorb other people’s problems, feelings, and energy. This takes a big toll on us and leaves many of us with high levels of chronic stress and anxiety.

canada goose factory sale What is anxiety? canada goose factory sale

canada goose coats on sale Anxiety is a form of fear. You might not consciously feel afraid. Instead, you might notice that canadagooseoutlets.biz you’re tense, “on edge”, irritable, tired, worried, or unhappy. canada goose coats on sale

canada goose In pre historic times, anxiety was largely a response to physical danger; it helped us protect ourselves by activating the fight, flight, or freeze response. canada goose

Canada Goose Jackets When we sense danger, our bodies automatically release hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which prepare us to fight or run away from danger. This helped us survive when predators were after us! Canada Goose Jackets

Canada Goose Outlet However, most of us living in canada goose outlet buffalo modern Western societies aren’t in a tremendous amount of physical danger. canada goose jacket outlet uk Instead, our anxiety is a response to feeling emotionally unsafe or the fear of being emotionally harmed. This is why anxiety can be confusing and hard to spot our danger alert system is going off, but there doesn’t seem to be any apparent physical threat. For canada goose outlet black friday example, maybe you were ignored, harshly criticized, called derogatory names, yelled at, or didn’t have your emotional needs met in other ways. canada goose jacket outlet store And as a result, codependents tend to fear rejection, criticism, not being good enough, failure, conflict, vulnerability, and being out of control. So, situations and people that trigger these fears can spike our anxiety. And, unfortunately, codependents are often in relationships with people who activate these fears by being rejecting, critical, controlling, or defensive. Canada Goose Outlet

Canada Goose sale What feels “emotionally unsafe”? Canada Goose sale

What feels emotionally unsafe is unique to you, but, as I mentioned, people who struggle with codependency are especially sensitive to fears of rejection or abandonment, feeling powerless, or not being listened to or respected. And feeling emotionally threatened or overwhelmed in any of these ways will activate our anxiety.

buy canada goose jacket cheap An emotionally unsafe or overwhelming experience could be your father criticizing you, or an impossible deadline at work, or your three screaming kids clamoring for your attention. Take a moment and write down some of the situations that make you feel anxious. Can you identify what feels emotionally unsafe about these situations? buy canada goose jacket cheap

Anxiety makes it difficult for us to solve our problems

When we’re anxious, we get caught up in all the bad things that might happen. Our focus is drawn away from what is going on in reality and we catastrophize and become fixated on “what ifs”. We might notice something that’s going wrong (or even just have a suspicion or sixth sense that something is off) and magnify and distort it. And because bad things have happened to us in the past, we may not even canada goose outlet reviews realize that we’re distorting reality, being pessimistic, and expecting the worst. This type of negative thinking tends to spiral out of control, taking over our thinking and clouding our judgment. And when we think this way, it’s difficult to enjoy what’s good in our lives and make decisions.

canada goose uk shop Denying our feelings canada goose uk shop

Codependents often have a hard time noticing, valuing, and expressing their feelings. For most of canada goose outlet montreal us, we learned in childhood that only certain feelings are acceptable (for example, codependents frequently learn that anger is wrong or scary) or that no one is interested in our feelings they don’t matter. We grew up without a vocabulary for our feelings and believing they don’t have value. So, we tend to suppress or deny our feelings but canada goose outlet mall this can cause serious canada goose outlet belgium problems for us.

When we suppress our feelings, they get stuck in our bodies. This is why we often first notice anxiety as physical symptoms. Anxiety shows up in our bodies as stress, tension, and health problems.

Common physical symptoms of anxiety include:

Rapid heart rate and rapid breathing

Difficulty catching your breath

buy canada goose jacket Anxiety and stress hormones are helpful when we’re facing a vicious dog; they allow us to be strong and fast and keep ourselves safe. However, when dealing with “emotional danger”, fighting or running away from our stressors isn’t very helpful. buy canada goose jacket

However, if your anxiety is activated by seeing your alcoholic spouse knocking back another beer or by your kids disobeying you, your natural fight or flight response doesn’t help you solve these problems. Obviously, fighting with your antagonistic spouse or running away from your canada goose outlet michigan frustrating kids isn’t a healthy or productive way to cope or solve problems. Meanwhile, stress builds up over time not just because you’re canada goose outlet exposed to stressful situations, but because those anxiety induced stress hormones are accumulating in your body and not being used to escape from danger.

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